tautologous soliloquy.

6:01:00 PM

Out of Danger

Heart be kind and sign the release

as the trees their loss approve.

Learn as leaves must learn to fall

out of danger, out of love.

What belongs to frost and thaw

Sullen winter will not farm.

what belongs to wind and rain

is out of danger from the storm.

Jealous passion, cruel need

betray the heart they feed upon.

But what belongs to earth and death

Is out of danger from the sun.

I was cruel, i was wrong

Hard to say and hard to know.

you do not belong to me.

you are out of danger now-

Out of danger from the wind,

Out of danger from the wave

Out of danger from the heart

Falling, falling out of Love

-James Fenton

Labels: thinktank

1:49:00 AM

HAHAHAH LIKE JUST A FEW MORE HOURS FEW MORE HOURS,
CAN YOU FEEL MY EXCITEMENT.

I really have t save myself doing tmr's econs p1 tmr bec. p2 was kdnsghwrfomasdfkn.
Was mostly writing non-economic stuff for 1 of my essays and handed up only 2 foolscap papers for that. Okay, so say bye to maybe 25m?
Which leaves me with 50/75... Oh heck.

Just did some googling of a movie 'Closer' and hahahahahahah yay am gonna watch it, somehow.
It's so surreal, the ending of A's :D
I can't really imagine what I'll do for like what 6-8 months? MONTHS.
I can't believe I survived th torture.
Those long arduous late nights mugging my sad life away (though I kinda liked it) and the incessant number of times Rico sees me going in and out of the kitchen to make my nth cup of coffee and then downing them as if they were the panacea to my misery (oh wait they were!)
& y'know I've also been missing out on family life, in the sense...

So many things have happened at home and I've been excluded tsk!
(talk about imperfect information in econs, yeah this is it)

Oh my and did I suffer, oh how I suffered mentally, urgh awful.
Not to mention how my brain overworks when I'm in solitude.
And I mean overkill-kind-of overwork.
O tedious thoughts.

I practically thought about everything under the sun.
Goshh, the first few weeks after sch ended were the worst i tell you, almost driven insane by mere thoughts.
Most of them personal, some of them about religion, and yes the few but adrenaline-pumped ones of:

brewing coffee (don't laugh at me, its a noble job),
or if I should go take up relief teaching,
or gasp, sign up for radio academy,
learning how to rollerblade/unicycle,
continue reading De Profundis & his other collections,
purchasing The Bell Jar myself and devouring it,
watch all the fantastical shows I want t watch,
swimming/tanning! (but alas the weather),
playing sims 3 AGAIN,
packing my freaken table and deciding what to keep and throw,
and perhaps even getting my own room?,
doing up a new blogskin probably whee,
meeting up with all the people I hvnt seen for a v long while,
buying zomg so manyyyy things because time is due *smirks,
mulling over FUTURE options (like faculty, or plan B gasp),
and and and if I do get into uni, what freaken sport I wna join!
....

Yeah, there were plenty more like the random "I-am-going-to-make-friends-with-the-scb-who-loiters-around-plaza-esp-starbucks" (Oh how I would miss staring at her from inside starbucks and drawing inspiration from her, yes really) and how I thought of trying out a biathalon after reading of ultra-marathons in the papers.

Trust me, I do know its overkill!!
Sooooo anyway, Geog's officially just over, Lit's over, and Math & GP were long gone yay.
OH, and zomg, p1 unseens, 1 of the poems were awesomeeeee.
If only every paper could speak to me like that.
James Fenton's Out of Danger was so, familiar. For lack of a better word.
Simply cause they were my exact sentiments tsk.
I CAN'T BELIEVE A'S ARE GONNA BE A THING OF TH PAST.
TELL ME WHAT NOW.

P.s: 'That thing you do' just kept playing in my head while I studied idk why,
Hahhhhahaha, and wiki is a gem, just found out Fenton's gay wth.

Labels: mutterings, news

3:24:00 PM

GEOG P1
MATH
GP
LIT P5

3 hrs of stress.
Time management - left 30mins for 1 section (King Lear) :|
(Similar to GP paper, please please I will continue my official mourning after 20th)
Wellllll, as I was revising for tday's paper ystd,
I couldn't help but think whether it was a real journey in itself.
Why, how do I say this without sounding like an "uppity superskank".
Plath's Ariel poems spoke to me like never before.
I MUST GET HER NOVEL, MUST.
What I gleaned from her poems were perspectives I'd never gotten before this year.
She's genius, truly.
There is so much, so very much in her poems which I could relate to...
Her immaculate use of the language is just sheer sublimity...
I've never read simple truths weaved into something as complex & profound. (besides you-know-who)
I don't even know how to express the epiphany I had while reading her poems ystd.
I think I was enlightened!

It is such a pity, really, and I write with so much anguish now,
that I couldn't convey all the details, and not write of her work as it deserved through out this year.
Simply because of my ignorance, simply because I thought lit was ironically this academic subj,
and I don't see how anyone could really see art for what its worth in such an ethos.
Shakespeare as well.
I don't exactly fancy King Lear cause I felt it rather dry, but oh my did a lot of things
change when I started to care enough to peruse the text.
Othello too - there is just so much writers like them have to offer.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I really could go on, but look at the time.
Austen's Pride & Prejudice + Othello tmr, I say bring it on.

Albeit it might be a little too late,
I am looking at things from a different angle now.
And even if it means having to write something unfavourable of that elusive A,
and thereafter lay back wondering why on earth did I do that, I'll do it.

Plath would've loved it.

Labels: thinktank

12:50:00 PM

Dear Daughter Of The King,

"The horse is made ready for the battle,

but victory rests with the Lord."

Proverbs 21:31

11:18:00 AM

Thankyouverymuch to all for those kind b'day wishes ♥

Hello Stranger.
More like friend-of-a-friend.
You made my otherwise really pathetic & sad day
a little brighter, honest (:
(delirious much heh)

Okay, full throttle for A's.
Afterwhich, I'll be unfettered and roaming for new highs instead of being like some,
being stuck in this old rut, rolling about, soaking in self-afflicted mental bloodbaths.
How tiring has it been, you wonder.
Can't wait for all these bs to end really.
And I mean every single bs.

Labels: BLISS, doubts, HOT., rants, thinktank

12:58:00 PM

'Alphadog and Omegalomaniac', Fall Out Boy

This song \m/.
I think it's an old song from another recording album but they changed th lyrics or smth I'm not sure. I just know its gna be in their 'Believers never die' album coming out like real soon.
I dig every single part of the song mannnnnnn- verses, chorus and bridge.
Gawssssssssh, Pat's falsetto's are tehbomb. 8)
Take back what I said about DCFC, FOB is like orgasmic.

Andandand,
Look what weehow gave me! THANKYOU DOOOOODE [:
It's from one of those quirky bookstores @ Brasbasar izit?
So it's like they have many pencils with names of different authors/writers stamped on it.
And best part is its only $1.50!
I ♥♥♥ it!
HOHOHO, now I can gloat, "Look! I have a SYLVIA PLATH PENCIL in MY pencil case! SEEEEL-VEEER PLUFFFF okay, the literary genius with her uber cool name inked on a pencil.
You have not, you have not? DON'T HAVE."
*Smirks to self.
Imagine if there was Wildes';
woah just the thought of having both pencils in my pencil case makes me very highhhhhhhh ~ (((((: